


"falling into your ocean eyes,"

by zacefronspants



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Fluff, But mostly fluff, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), but its not explored in detail, i mention pidge and hunk and shiro, mostly pining, sex worker Lance, some sexy stuff, they never really make an apperance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 04:49:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17114795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: keith and lance are neighbors, lance is, as everyone knows, really fucking loud. it pisses keith off, but he's also so fucking soft for lance.





	"falling into your ocean eyes,"

**Author's Note:**

> this took me longer to write than i want to ever admit

**week one.**

When Lance first moved in, Keith was slightly disgruntled because Lance was, for lack of a better phrase, obnoxiously loud, and it drove Keith absolutely insane. He vaguely, through the haze of his mind, remembers calling Pidge and saying, “He’s loud, but he’s so goddamn cute whenever he apologizes for disturbing me. I don’t know what to do.” Keith willfully ignores Pidge’s crass suggestion of fucking him quiet if he’s so cute and chooses, instead, to subtly (Keith’s never been subtle a day in his fucking life) complain about the noise. He notices the soft blush that filters in on Lance’s cheeks and internally coos at him as he stumbles out a soft apology and the quick suggestion that Keith should have a pair of headphones on or around because he’s always been loud. Keith doesn’t really even notice Lance all that much, he’s just a huge asshole and likes to poke fun at people, so he makes it a routine of two to three times a week saying, “Lance please keep quiet,” with a quick wink and laugh whenever Lance stutters and says, “Uh, yeah, cool, uh, sure thing Keith, my man.” 

Lance has a boyfriend, Keith notes mournfully and tells Shiro, “He was so perfect too, he’s so charming,” and Shiro just smiles at him and murmurs that he doesn’t really care. Keith soon wishes, on whatever god or star he can, that Lance hadn’t moved in next door.    
  
Keith tries to drown out Lance’s drunken giggles with headphones and loud movies, like Lance suggested, or he chooses to sit on the balcony and read ahead for his English Literature class until his eyes are burning and he has too many paper cuts on his pale fingers. He’ll stop him in the elevator and say, “Can you tone it down?” and make offhanded, half serious comments about his laugh and how, it’s annoying (it’s not, it’s soft and sweet, and makes Keith melt). Lance just shrugs, grinning and they both say their respective goodbyes. 

Keith will sometimes leave a tuber wear of cookies he’s bought from the store outside of Lance’s door when he and  _ Ryan _ , he learns, argue about fuck all and tell him the next day that, “Honestly, when will you learn I don’t do anything I don’t want too,” and smiles softly as he can at him and take the emptied tub back and close the door softly. 

It’s only some of the time that Keith wishes that Lance and Ryan would break up and it’s most of the time that Pidge smacks his arm and tells him, “Shut the hell up and go find someone else to fuck,”   
  
Keith will complain only mildly that Lance is too loud in bed and that Ryan should invest in a gag sometimes after too many nights of Lance and Ryan going at it like rabbits. Lance will always smile and say, “Okay man, I will,” and get into the elevator.

Keith, when he turns his lamp off and removes his pants, gets off to listening to Lance whimper and beg Ryan to fuck him deeper, pretend that it’s Keith he’s begging. Keith will sit with his back to the wall with his teeth sunk so firmly into his bottom lip as he twists his hand around his cock, running his thumb on the slit and listen as Lance begs and cries out loud pleas of, “Fuck me there,” until one or the both of them comes. Keith only feels mildly guilty the next day when he sees Lance covered in hickeys and a fucked out grin on his face. 

It’s only sometimes Keith hates that he and Lance are neighbors. 

**month three.**

Keith notices, belatedly, one morning, that Lance is really fucking pretty. Lance is soft and kind, would offer someone his last twenty dollars if it meant they were going to be able to get gas or food, wears his heart like a brand on his wrist and it makes parts of Keith’s heart feel warmer than they should. He notices the smattering of freckles on the bridge of Lance’s nose and the way his eyes crinkle with mirth when Keith says, “Hey you’re really fucking loud. Shut the hell up,” and it makes Keith melt like ice cream in the sun (he’s so incredibly gay and fucked for this boy). Keith tries desperately to ignore the pang in his chest when he notices Ryan and a girl with soft yellow hair and opaque white skin hanging all over Lance and pressing soft kisses into his cheeks. 

(He can’t, he wants to kiss Lance, too.) 

Keith notes, one night when the snow started falling, that Lance’s smile is getting dimmer, his face isn’t so vibrant in the mornings when Keith says his usual piece about how loud Lance is and it sets his teeth on edge because Lance  _ isn’t laughing with him.  _ Keith starts keeping his comments to himself and only mentioning it when it was extremely loud and actually hindered him from being able to sleep, adding a soft, “But it’s okay. I know you don’t mean to be loud,” when Lance looks like he might cry because Lance wears his emotions so thickly that Keith can  _ feel  _ them too. It becomes a pattern, Keith says good morning and Lance asks if he was too loud and Keith does one of two things; lie and say he didn’t hear a thing, or he’ll begrudgingly admit that, yeah, Lance was really fucking loud and then Keith will quickly say it’s okay and pat his shoulder on his way to the elevator.

Keith notes that he’s been seeing less and less of Lance’s partners (fuck buddies?) and that Lance is becoming more closed off as the days grow longer and the snow falls more like a blanket in everything. 

Keith worries so badly that when he calls Shiro to voice it, all Shiro can say is, “Talk to him. Leave him some food, do something.” And Keith knows he’s right, but he doesn’t want to be  _ that  _ neighbor; the one who hovers and comes off as overbearing. So, he leaves takeout and store bought cookies when he knows Lance’s friend Hunk isn’t coming by or he knows Lance hasn’t eaten. 

He’s always met with a half watted smile and a gentle, “Thank you button.” And Keith almost kisses him. 

**month eight.**

Keith finds out what Lance does on accident. He didn’t actually know what the link was that Pidge had sent him, just that they murmured a sly, “You’re welcome, dumbass.” And it confused him because what the fuck and also because Keith knows it’s probably porn. 

(It was in fact porn.)

Keith discovers that Lance, sweet, beautiful, loud, shy Lance, is a sex worker who also happens to be his neighbor. Keith feels his skin burn with the discovery. He tries not to watch the previews or look through his social media feeds, but Keith’s so fucking gone on Lance and their weekly coffee meetups that he wants to know more. Wants to see what Lance looks like when he comes with a cock in his mouth, wants to hear what he sounds like when he comes with his own fingers up his ass and a cock, fake or real, is shoved down his throat. Keith barely registers that he’s setting up monthly payments (anonymously, of course) for Lance’s snapchat and videos. Keith never watches the videos or opens the snapchat, feels like an invasion of whatever fragile and barely there friendship has been forming. 

He sometimes indulges in rewatching all of Lance’s video previews, but can't ever bring himself to watch the videos themselves because it makes Keith’s tongue dry and jealousy coil in the pits of his stomach. 

It’s a month or three (six months, it’s been six months) later when Keith says, “So you’re a camboy. Makes a lotta sense now.” He watches Lance blink and internally coos at the red blush on Lance’s cheeks when he nods and asks, “You’re not mad? Grossed out?” And Keith shorts and shakes his head. Keith tells him that it makes all the loud sex and shit make sense and Lance smiles sheepishly and kisses his cheek with a soft, “Thanks Keith, you’re the best.” And Keith fucking melts. 

(He never reveals he has a subscription and it renews every month.)

**year one.**

Keith’s come to terms with being half in love with Lance. It’s a subtle thing Keith thinks, automatically searching for Lance when he leaves his apartment in the mornings or when they meet up for coffee to help each other study and whatever else. Keith likes the way Lance has made a mold for himself in Keith’s inner circle, rammed his way into his heart with soft smiles, annoying pick up lines and fucking finger guns. He lets Lance become a part of his daily routine and it makes Keith forget the wet, hot coiling in his chest whenever he doesn’t see Lance in the morning or when he sees the dried tear tracks on Lance’s cheeks because he doesn’t know what to do to make him not ache. 

Keith likes the sort of soft and steady friendship they’ve built on, its easy and on its way to becoming  _ familiar.  _ He likes knowing Lance’s favorite food and color (garlic knots and blue). Keith likes knowing just how to make Lance laugh in such a way that he squeaks and has to cover his mouth to prevent it from happening again. Keith loves the sibling like (it’s mostly a way to let out his frustrations about not being able to kiss him) rivalries they’ve started. It’s easy being Lance’s friend. Keith likes being there to hear about Lance go on a rampage about some fuckwit in his astronomy class or whenever Lance is subdued and tells him about his family back in Cubs. Keith likes watching the way Lance’s eyes sparkle with warmth whenever Keith slips him a soft oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips instead of raisins or actually attempts to bake him something. And Keith knows, somewhere deep in the gallows of his mind that he is desperately in love with Lance. 

Sometimes when the sun is setting and the sky is cherry pink, Lance will call his mama and Keith watches how his body melts and a soft, forlorn look colors his face whenever they hang up. 

He learns not to ask about the phone calls when Lance's eyes start watering and his lips trembled with, “Please not now.” Spilling out and slapping at his hands. Keith thinks that maybe if he could, he'd swallow all of the pain Lance has etched on his face and the burdens Lance has sown into his hands and brand them to his body, he'd do it so fucking fast. Keith hates the soft sadness that threatens to swallow Lance whole sometimes, hates how it makes his smile dim and the soft blues in his eyes to darken into almost grey blues. Sometimes Keith will pull Lance into a hug and run circles against his lower back and breathe in the subtle scent of lavender and coconut in Lance's hair and whisper, “It's okay.”

**a year and half.**

Keith gets roaring drunk one night and calls Shiro and whispers out, “Even if the stars fell and the sky stopped glowing, I wouldn't be left alone in the dark because Lance is the brightest star of them all,” and Keith absolutely refuses to admit that he said that or even called Shiro in the first place (he's full of shit and everyone and their dog knows it). He ignores the soft knowing smile that crosses Shiro's face whenever he talks about Lance. 

Keith begrudgingly admits after Pidge posters him enough that he's in love with the soft eyed and gentle boy he spends ninety percent of the time thinking about. He says, so soft and sorry, “I don't deserve him. I don't know how to be someone who does,” to Pidge after he finally says out loud to someone other than his mirror that he loves Lance. Keith ignores the ache in his chest when Pidge pats his shoulder and says a sincere and lopsided apology, he also doesn't look them in the eye when he offers a shrug in response. Keith's terrified of loving Lance, he thinks (he knows he fucking is). Pidge just sends him a half smile and bumps their shoulders together and mercifully, doesn't tease him anymore about it. 

**two years.**

It's started getting quiet again, like when Lance and Ryan broke up (he almost thinks he was dumped again, but quickly remembers that Lance is still single), but somehow this quietness sets every bone in Keith's body on edge and makes a sick, greasy film settle on his skin when Lance doesn't greet him in the elevator or when he cancels their plans. It makes Keith feel like an alien in his own skin because he can't make it stop. Keith starts knocking on Lance's door when the other hasn't been out in a few days, or he calls Hunk quietly pleads for him to check on Lance because something isn't right, he just doesn't know what yet and it's setting his skin on fire. He tries to cook, or leave meals out for Lance, but Keith couldn’t boil water to save his life and it makes his nail beds ache. Keith tries desperately most days to get Lance to grin or crack a joke about his god awful mullet, but all he’s able to get out of Lance is a soft, “You’re my favorite person, don’t tell Hunk.” And Keith fucking melts into an overly excited and overly attached grin and gress to keep it between them. 

Keith’s taken to knocking on Lance’s door every Tuesday, when he knows he’s not filming and leaving small cups of coffee from the coffeehouse they frequent every other week. Keith leaves little sticky notes on Lance’s mailbox and hopes they’ll make him smile. He immediately notices that Lance will accept the notes and coffee, and offer a curt nod of his head in the morning in the elevator, but he won’t smile and it’s making Keith uneasy. Lance doesn’t stick around to talk to him much anymore, and when he does he seems hollow and like his answers are on a notecard lying on his bedside table.   
  
Keith likes to leave small tupperware full of whatever takeout he ordered and ate for dinner on Lance’s balcony railing because he worries he’s not eating enough and has no way of knowing if he’s gone grocery shopping because they sort of used to do it for together. Keith knocks on Lance’s door around the time he usually gets up for work and will wait until he hears the shower turn on before he goes back into his apartment. Keith makes small talk in the elevator with Lance; he doesn’t expect him to answer back anymore. Keith and Hunk respectively both take turns knocking and asking Lance to come out and, “Just let us know you’re here Lance, we miss you,” until they’re both breathless or until Lance throws something at the door and tells them to, “Go the fuck away,”   
  
It’s nearly sunrise when Keith hears a loud sob and the sound of picture frames being smashed. Keith wraps his arms around himself and says, “Let him deal with this, I’ll still be annoying and pester him, but this is the first time he’s shown emotion,” and he’ll lie there and listen to Lance  cry until he has to turn the television on to drown it out.   
  
Keith’s nails feel too heavy for his body as he picks at the quick and tries to stop himself from lock picking his way into Lance’s apartment and holding him until he’s stopped crying. Keith writes notes and slips them under Lance’s door. Keith nearly chokes out one morning, while he’s trying to coax Lance out that he loves him and it’s been weeks and months since he’s uploaded anything or even tries to film, but all he can say is, “I really fucking miss you,” and it almost works because Lance unlocked his door, but he never came out.   


(Keith doesn’t know which way is up or down without Lance’s soft, supple lips grinning at him.)   


When it snows the first time, Keith makes garlic knots because he remembers Lance tearfully saying how much he loved them because they reminded him of home and leaves them on a plate with a note that says, “Stars were born in your eyes and I’d love to see them again.” 

**two and a half years.**

Keith’s been beating on Lance’s door the past half hour, begging him to just, “Fucking open the door McClain!” and Keith can feel the bruise on his hand, but he can’t be bothered to care at all because Lance stopped making noise and leaving his apartment and Keith can’t take not hearing him talk or laugh or scream or cry. Keith leans his head against the cool wood of Lance’s door and feels his chest break.

Keith feels his eyes burn and his throat thicken with tears when he whispers, “Lance please open the door, it’s too quiet and I miss you,” Keith lets his knocks become gentler on the door, wincing at the echoing he thinks he hears. Keith waits a few more minutes, before he starts knocking harder and louder on Lance’s door.

It takes a few minutes before Keith is beating Lance’s door, again, and starting to shout his name, “Lance I’ll be damned if the entire building can hear me, open this fucking door,” Keith’s hands are bruised, he’s sure, but he just wants Lance to tell him to go away so he knows he’s alive. Keith presses his forehead against his door and whispers, “I know you didn’t ask me to bother you every day or to even speak to you when you moved in, but Lance please, I miss you. I miss the starlight in your eyes,”

Keith slides down and rests his back to the door, letting his arms fall uselessly to the sides. “He’ll be okay, won’t he?” Keith finally asks himself (he probably looks really fucking stupid)  after a few resolute minutes of silence and winces when he feels the throbbing bruises on his knuckles. Keith forces himself to stand up and go to Lance’s door, pounding against the wooden frame, shouting at Lance to just open the fucking door and Keith doesn’t care that their old landlady is tugging on his shirt and whispering at him to stop causing a ruckus; he’s too desperate for Lance to just open the goddamn door.

Keith’s fist is throbbing when he nearly slams it into Lance’s face. Keith looks terrified at the look of anger on Lance’s face and Keith, for a minute wonders if Lance is going to punch him and make his jaw crack. Keith smiles sheepishly and waits for Lance to talk or smack him, anything at this point, really.

Lance grabs Keith’s shirt and buries his face in the fabric, one hand held out to grope for Keith’s hand as he says, “I missed you, too.” Keith kisses his head and presses their foreheads together, a soft  _ it’s okay  _ on his tongue. Lance looks up at him and leans in closer, eyes slipping closed when he asks, “Can I kiss you?” Keith closes the gap and kisses him gently, pulling away after a minute and watches Lance’s eyelashes dance on his cheeks before he smiles sheepish and says, “All you ever had to do was ask, Lance,”

**Author's Note:**

> i thrive off comments but please be gentle with me, im not sure i like how this turned out


End file.
